Dear ex: how you messed me up


Our breakup was among the first and the worst i ever had. i was 18, stupid, obsessed and so much into you; a boy who never even spent time with me (away from your bedroom that is, lol). we never got to know each other well. we were both from different towns and i was convinced it was love. i was a fool for thinking you could fall for a girl like me.

When we broke up, or rather when you dumped me, that was when my whole existence came to a standstill. i lost all hope in life, i cried myself to sleep almost everyday and i constantly asked God, why me.

After some time, i just got tired of acting all miserable and sad and wanting sympathy from everyone who cared to hear how shitty you were. it got so hard wanting to go back to the old me. most of the time, i was just breaking inside but i was too tired to cry.

Instead of whining and bitching around as i did earlier on, i tried to numb my pain with endless parties, random hookups and lots of drugs. messed up mascaras and stale lipsticks became part of me then on. i was always wanting to sleep in, miss classes and not wake up until the next day. i refused to cry. i refused to open up.

I cant even relate with love quotes right now. you wrecked me. destroyed a part of me that i had worked to hard to gain. you convinced me that i was a lose. afterall, i had been a loser my whole life. you always told me that.

Everyday, i smoke a joint and drink myself silly thinking of how fucked up i was. i shouldnt have let you go. i could have killed you, yes, kill you and then i kill myself too.yeah i understand, i HATE YOU, but i am not stupid enought to kill myself because of you.

you destroyed me and built me at the same time THANK YOU.

your crazy ex.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s